Barney Fife: [Andy & Barney have just been called to calm the Boone's] Now Jenny, you put that cup down! Sure, he was delivering groceries to Emma Watson because she was too sick to get down to the market. What Are Punitive Damages in Florida Personal Injury Cases? Barney Fife: I couldn’t give him the test last night!
But I guess a fellow shouldn't question when he's getting a free supper. [another rock come flying through the window]
Look now Opie, forget that part of it. Andy Taylor: [after learning Barney has spilled the beans about the gold shipment] Somewhere between here and Denver is seven million dollars headed for Mayberry, and you and me and Gomer and Laura Lee Hobbs, we're gonna' receive it.
Memorize them so that you can say them in your sleep.
Andy Taylor: I’m going to have a talk with them. I’m armed and if you don’t go home, I might just take a shot at you Barney Fife: Yeah. Barney Fife: All I'm saying is that there are some things beyond the ken of mortal man that shouldn't be tampered with.
And looka there - they're the right length and everything.
I'd just like for you to take a look in the record book Mr. Jackson. Son, uh, didn't you ever give anybody anything just for the pleasure of it. Briscoe Darling: [to Andy] That ain’t fair; her hittin’ first and explainin’ the rules after. Bobby Fleet: Aw, come on now!
“Let’s invite Andy and Elly!” See, then it’s “Andy and Elly”; “Elly and Andy”. Sheriff Andy Taylor: I don't understand it. Its mathematics - arithmetic. Want to hear me do Cary Grant? Andy Taylor: What are you doing?
See, lightning strikes tall things. That'll be twenty dollars. You’re keepin’ ’em awake! Otis was drunk!
Andy Taylor: Boys, stop it! Sheriff Andy Taylor: He'd kill you. What?
Thanks for your vote! Barney Fife: They’re awful hard to buy for. Deputy Barney Fife: He buttered her up and she egged him on! Barney Fife: Listen here, Ernest T. Bass!
Barney Fife: I'm surprised at you, Andy.
Barney Fife: If you ride with your mouth open in the wind and put your tongue against the roof of your mouth, its impossible to pronounce a word that begins with the letter ‘s’. Gomer Pyle: You take a real good picture, Barney. Otis Campbell: I don't know; I wasn't wearin' my glasses. There’s plenty going on right now in the Twilight Zone that we don’t know anything about and I think we ought to stay clear. Briscoe Darling: Just so I know where I stand.
First off I wrote her a love note asking her to go on out with me. Otis Campbell: Every man needs a hobby. Barney Fife: [Walks in wearing helmet, leather gloves, and a leather jacket] Mounted patrol checking in. Andy Taylor: Daylight's precious when your a youngen'. But Mayberry ain't very big. Darling, can’t you and your boys handle him? Barney Fife: If there’s anything that upsets me, it’s having people say I’m sensitive. Otis Campbell: [speaking of a mosaic he created] I find I do my best work when I'm just a little gassed. [Andy has told Rafe Hollister to try out for the musical]. Andy Taylor: No, no Floyd, Calvin Coolidge didn't say that. Jim Lindsey: Well now, I wouldn't say that. Aunt Bee Taylor: No elbows on the table. A barber does a lot of work around the back of the neck.
[Andy, Barney and the recruiting sergeant watch as Ernest T. Bass incur his wrath on Mayberry for not getting into the Army]. I don't wanna burn myself out. Andy Taylor: Well, I ate four bowls. Sheriff Andy Taylor: You can't be serious about resigning. A then, that's when that woman gets her claws into you! Briscoe Darling: [to Barney] More power to ya. Opie Taylor: I didn't charge him nothing. Andy Taylor: How are you Baron Von Richthofen?
Can't love one and have fun. Andy Taylor: Well, as Mark Twain said, everybody complains about the weather but nobody does anything about it. Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well yes you are, too... [Just after Sheriff Andy Taylor arrested Jim Lindsey, they practiced playing guitars of same rhythm and song].
Deputy Barney Fife: [Andy Taylor and Barney Fife, sang together] Ridin' on that new river train. Put it down RIGHT NOW! About Rafe Hollister. Go on home and leave these people alone! Sheriff Andy Taylor: Now I'm warning you, if you throw one more rock... Ernest T. Bass: I promise you Sheriff, I won't throw one more rock. Judy. Rafe Surrenders to Barney. [Turns away from the window, then turns back] You know there ain't been a major crime committed in this town thanks to Sheriff Taylor?
Goober Pyle: Yeah, but I don't pay no attention to 'em.
Floyd Lawson: [while looking at himself in the mirror] Wretch, wretch! [snapping fingers in rhythm] [the Darlings have come to Andy for help with Ernest T. Bass] Caught her right there. What'd you do that for? No more fishin’, no more ball playin’, no more peanut butter sandwiches.
Go take a nap, go to Thelma Lou’s for TV, just *do it*!
I can't put him in jail, he keeps breakin' out. Barney Fife: [Andy and Barney are watching a sign painter] Ain't he got chicken spelled wrong? Andy Taylor: Well, I caught him earlier on a 10-17. I found out I'm not inept! Barney Fife: He asked me what line. [pause] Deputy Barney Fife: In civies I'm a little hard looking. Barney Fife: Why, I'd do it!
Andy Taylor: [telling Opie and his friends the story of Paul Revere] And he said, “The British is comin, the British is comin! Judy, Judy, Judy!
If you let them take thirty-five, they’ll take forty. Andy Taylor: Mmm-hmm. Goober Pyle: William Holden? Deputy Barney Fife: In case we decide to hitchhike. Why, suppose they ask Rafe to do something he don't know? Goober Pyle: That's a good thing - that car is on its last leg. Andy Taylor: Goob, did anybody ever tell you you’ve got a big mouth? Andy Taylor: Why? Charlene’s the one I want to talk to! Goober Pyle: William Holden?
What? One fell on me just yesterday! Goober Pyle: What are you doin' with a Raleigh paper?
It had two tons of concrete in it. Let me try; Judy, Judy, I can’t do it.
Ernest T. Bass: I’m a little mean, but I make up for it by bein’ real healthy. Judy. Deputy Barney Fife: [REALLY trying to be seductive now] You're beginnin' to get to me. Sheriff Andy Taylor: Aww, Emmett does all right. Just kinda let that thumb hang free and enjoy the music!
Barney Fife: Let’s get this film down to the lab at Mrs. Mason’s drugstore.
Judy. Andy Taylor: Uh, yeah, Gomer; that was real good, Goober. French name. Ernest T. Bass: I don’t chew my cabbage twice. Can I tell you somethin' before I do? Andy Taylor: Daylight’s precious when your a youngen’.
Andy Taylor: Didn't anybody try to stop him? [shouting to several prisoners]
Briscoe Darling: You got time to breathe, you got time for music. Come on, let's look sharp! Sheriff Andy Taylor: That's right. Helen Crump: [in front of the 5th grade class] Mr. Bass, return to your seat! You want your face to freeze thatta’ way?
The only ruckus you'd ever have in Mayberry is if you tried to remove him from office. "The Andy Griffith Show Quotes."
Floyd Lawson: What’s the matter? [Puts the stethoscope on Rafe's ears and the mic to his heart] See...? If you're still here on... what's the day after Thursday? Barney Fife: [through a megaphone while directing the cave rescue] Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their neighbor! This is Sheriff Taylor! And if that wasn’t enough, he soaked the paper napkins in the punch and then he threw them at the ceiling.
Everything we eat goes to muscle.
Andy Taylor: [on the phone] If you don't want magazine subscriptions or your septic tank pumped out, there's a sign you can get that says no peddlers or agents. It's at the convention hall all weekend. Briscoe Darling: [to Barney] More power to ya. Ernest T. Bass: [chuckling] Irritatin', ain't it. Rummage Sale Customer: I always wanted one. You're the best guitar player I ever heard. Photos +109. Sheriff Andy Taylor: No. Otis Campbell: I don’t know; I wasn’t wearin’ my glasses.
Only moments later, Rafe Hollister, a moonshiner on the Mayberry's Most Wanted list, enters the courthouse and gives himself up to Andy.As sheriff Andy is about to lock him up, he sends Hollister out to look for Barney, in order to surrender to the deputy, and give Barney an opportunity to arrest such an important criminal. Otis Campbell: I do have a hobby; drinkin’! [grabs Charlene and begins hugging and kissing her]. Cary Grant sure was good it that movie. Barney Fife: Gomer, get down there with them spiders and start workin’! No, I wouldn't just rather call Thelma Lou back! Andy wins him over with the "Mayberry way" of fighting crime.
Come on, on the double there! Goober Pyle: Oh! Opie Taylor: Sure, just yesterday I gave my friend Jimmy something.
Floyd Lawson: Then what did Calvin Coolidge say? Barney Fife: [through a megaphone while directing the cave rescue] Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their neighbor! If that ain’t a tribute to white beans, I don’t know what is. And suck in that gut!
All goes to muscle. Charlene Darling: No, Paw, That one makes me cry! Ernest T. Bass: Okay. Goober Pyle: I take off on Cary Grant. Andy Taylor: What? The Dispatch - The generic Dispatch designation, used primarily for press releases or syndicated content, but may be used for guest author requesting a generic nomenclature, XHTML: You can use these html tags:
, The Global Dispatch Inc. All Rights Reserved. He's got good friends and a nice wife. Oh you'll be my guests, of course.
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